The Best Bingo Jokes

No matter where or how you play bingo, there will be some funny phrases and jokes that players use to spice up the bingo atmosphere. So what are the best bingo jokes? Let’s find out!

Posted: 30/09/2020

When people play bingo, they love to chat with the other players and experience more than just playing the game. Players love to see their friends in bingo halls, meet new people, have a drink or two, laugh, and potentially win some prize. The same applies to online bingo, except for the fact that players aren’t required to go anywhere, as they can play from the comfort of their homes. However, no matter where or how you play bingo, there will be some funny phrases and jokes that players use to spice up the bingo atmosphere. So what are the best bingo jokes? Let’s find out!

Bingo Jokes

Bingo Jokes are jokes, phrases related to the bingo game that players use to make the atmosphere more enjoyable. Whether you play bingo in a land-based bingo hall or online, telling a bingo joke or a story will help you break the ice, communicate with other players and meet them. Bingo is so popular due to its ability to make people laugh and have fun while playing, so it’s natural that players will use different bingo jokes to achieve that. 

Of course, bingo jokes are even funnier when being told in a bingo hall, where people will burst out laughing when they least expect it. However, bingo jokes are used in online bingo games as well, where people regularly chat and tell funny stories all time. Therefore, it is sure that much enjoyment is possible in both land-based and online bingo games, so it’s up to you to decide how you’re going to play bingo.

If you’re new to bingo and want to learn how to adapt in a bingo hall or in an online bingo game, you’re at the right place. In this article, we will share some of the best bingo jokes with you, so you can use some of them when you play bingo next time. Moreover, we will share the popular bingo calls with you, so feel free to read them and learn some calls that refer to different bingo numbers.

Bingo Calls

One of the most common things that are being said during the bingo games are the bingo calls. Bingo calls are rhyming slang phrases that relate to particular numbers used in the games. When bingo appeared in the UK, it was played only in bingo halls. Originally, the process of calling out the numbers was boring, so bingo calls were invented to engage the players in the game and make a more enjoyable and energetic atmosphere. Some of the bingo calls are simply rhymes, some are funny stories, while some have a history behind them.

For example, number 1 is called Kelly’s Eye, number 17 is Dancing Queen, number 22 is called Two Little Ducks, while number 88 is known as Two Fat Ladies. Funny, right? It’s very interesting when you play bingo and the bingo caller is calling out the winning numbers using such phrases. For that reason, click here to find the full list of bingo calls and learn them, so you’ll know which number to mark off in your bingo ticket when you play bingo next time.

Bingo Jokes Online

When it comes to bingo jokes that are used at online bingo sites, they are usually replaced by alternatives such as bingo memes, social media groups dedicated to bingo or jokes and stories being told in online bingo chatrooms. However, the important thing is that online bingo is still fun and players enjoy their time spent at online bingo sites. Online bingo jokes have become so popular that there have been discussion groups opened where information about games, promotions, techniques, the best time to play, and teaching new players is shared.

Best Bingo Stories

New York Bingo Caller

One day, a man is hit by a bus on a busy street in New York City. Bystanders crowd around him, and the man's dying wish is to be blessed by a priest. The police officer on the scene calls for a priest, but nobody answers - there's none in the crowd. Suddenly, a guy who must be at least eighty years old seeps out and says "Mister Policeman, I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic, but for at least fifty years now I've been living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue. Every night, I'm listening to the Catholic litany, so maybe I can comfort this man."

The policeman agrees and lets him past, at which point the man knees down and solemnly called out "B-4. I-19. N-38..."

All Blonde's Night

The All Blonde Bingo Hall was running a game, but not one person had called bingo for the entire night. The game kept going for hours, and none of the blonde ladies in the hall called. Annoyed, the bingo caller stands up and throws the bingo machine straight off the stage, shocking all the players. He shouts out "I called every single ball in this bingo machine, and nobody has a bingo? What number are you waiting for?!" and the ladies reply, all at once, "FREE SPACE!".

The Bath Story

A young, attractive and married woman wants expensive clothing, rare jewels and a car to match, but her poor husband doesn't have the money for such things. Later that day, she comes back after being out for hours wearing a nice gold necklace. Her husband asks her where she got it, and she replies "I won it in a bingo game."

The next day, she does the same, returning with a luxurious mink coat. Again, her husband asks her where she got it, and she relies with "I won it by gambling in a bingo game!"

The day after, she comes back home again, driving the fanciest Mercedes Benz car you've ever seen - a vehicle that the husband would need to make a hundred times more money to ever afford. Suspicious, he asks where she got it and she replies "Bingo, stop asking me! Go and run a bath, I need to rest and relax."

Later, when the bath is ready, she wife comes in to find that there's hardly any water in. She demands an explanation and the husband simply says "I don't want your bingo card to get wet!".

Best Bingo Jokes

So, what are the best bingo jokes that people tell in land-based bingo halls or at online bingo sites? Here are some of the most popular ones.

What has a whole bunch of balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine!

How do you get a bunch of old ladies to shout the f word?
Get someone to shout “Bingo!”

What do vampires play Bingo with?
Stake money!

What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!

What do you call a lady addicted to gambling at bingo?

Angela was chatting away to her best bingo buddy, Kate about her husband with whom she’d had a recent falling out with. ”My husband said I had to choose between him and bingo… I’m gonna miss him …!”

The 10 Commandments of Bingo

The 10 Bingo Commandments is another joke that players use a lot, parodying the famous Ten Commandments with a bingo spin on them.

  1. Thou shalt not sit in thy neighbour’s lucky seat.
  2. Thou shalt not stare at thy neighbour’s card.
  3. Thou shalt not take the Callers name in vain.
  4. Thou shalt not call false “Bingo”.
  5. Thou shalt not wish bad luck on thy neighbour.
  6. Thou shalt not threaten to kill the “Caller”.
  7. Thou shalt not steal thy husband’s money for Bingo (oh, alright you can do this one).
  8. Thou shalt not brag about how much thou hast won.
  9. Thou shalt not whine about how much thou hast lost.
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s winnings.

Start playing online bingo today

There isn’t a game that is more sociable and fun than bingo. So, if you’re in for an adventure, why not try playing online bingo? At Bingo Scanner, we’ve scanned the best bingo sites and found special promotions for you. 

If you are interested, check out all of the bingo sites that we recommend and make your pick. Good luck playing!

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